Monday, May 22, 2023

If you want to be happy, spend time with your family

 

This past weekend, my family gathered together for family pictures, and to celebrate a few of our family members birthdays.  As we were at the park where the photos were taken, I sat quietly for a while and enjoyed the interaction of the photographer with my grandchildren, from the youngest age 4, to the oldest, just turned 19.  My heart felt such joy as I watched each of their beautiful faces, smile, and giggle and laugh as they tried their best to pose how the photographer asked them.  I looked around and saw the parents of these little ones, smiling and encouraging, and laughing and commenting on how cute they were.  No lie here... I probably have the most beautiful children and grandchildren, ever to set foot on this earth.  I'm pretty sure that Heavenly Father, sent the very cutest ones, for me, their Grandmother to admire.

I'm pretty sure that most grandparents and parents feel the same way, as I do about my grands and kids.  I think it was meant to be.  So getting back to why I'm writing this post, I wanted to express that one huge way to enjoy life, and find happiness, is to spend time with your family.  Those relationships are precious and in reality, are about the only thing that truly matters in life.  If you aren't happy, then it's probably due a lot to the relationship or lack there of, of relationships with family.

Everyone has a few black sheep that cause grief on and off, but none the less, they are our children, and that bond is eternal.  If you don't have a good relationship with any members of your family, then you can do something about it to turn things around.  Less families stay estranged that those who reach out to each other, through change, and effort.  My point is that for me, I have chosen to never give up, and keep hope alive for my children who have had setbacks and challenges on their path.  It's not easy but definally worth the effort.

If you want to be happy, spend some time with your family.  I read somewhere recently that smiling and laughing does a body good.  Hope you'll give yourself some joy as you spend time with your family.

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

If you want to be happy believe in Jesus Christ!

If you want to be happy, believe in Jesus Christ. What a marvelous opportunity we all have to light the world through celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. I mean it when I say, believe in Him! Learn of Him and know him! Enjoy the most beautiful video depicting His birth, and share it with others who could use more joy and happiness in their lives. Watch it over and over and share it with your children, your family and friends to light their way this Christmas. If you truly want to be happy, then believe in Him.  Enjoy, “The Christ Child” a new video about the birth of Jesus Christ. The Christ Child


Monday, September 30, 2019

If you want 2 be happy, then give something away.

When I first heard the term, "If you want to be happy, give something away," my first, knee jerk reaction was .... it would make a person happier to keep it instead of giving it away.  You'll have to understand that I was about 8 years old, and my Grandmother shared this story at Thanksgiving during our family Thanksgiving program.  It became a family story that we would use for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but for many years, I really didn't quite understand the concept of giving away.

Years passed, and I grew up, got married and began having children of my own.  I wanted to instill in my children, traditions and especially holiday traditions.  When Thanksgiving rolled around, I drew on my childhood memories of my Grandmother telling the story of how an old man made the entire town happy by giving something away, and by doing so, it made him happy as well as all the people who caught his vision and passed on the giving.

For years and years, I had thought that someone should write this story into a book, so finally in  2013, I took the message from my Grandmothers story, and elaborated on it, and wrote a Family/Children's book called, "If you want to be happy give something away".  A publisher snapped it up and the rest was history.  Unfortunately for me, the publisher went out of business, and that was the end of that.  Everyone who read the book expressed that they thought the message was great and how they were going to incorporate it into their own family traditions.

This little book inspired this blog you are reading right now, and I want to share the rest of the story.  My story, like I said is an elaboration of an old English Story that my grandmother had clipped out of some magazine in her childhood. There is a lot more  history behind the story, that I won't elaborate on but as a grown-up, I came to love it just like my Grandmother.  Its all about living a life and growing to understand just how happy serving others or giving away things, can make.

Since writing this book, I have come up with what would be a fabulous Hallmark movie or even a Downtown Abby type British Drama, that would really interest those of us who like to step back in time, to where things were much different, and where the aristocracy reigned.  Its fun to look into the homes of the romantics where the women wore long flowing dresses, and had maids to clean their homes, and even attendants to dress them and do their hair. A time of hosting grand occasions, balls, and marrying into Aristocratic families.  Anyway, my book is set in that time period, and it
tells the whole story of the main character as  a child,  born into a wealthy and titled family, yet because he was born with a physical disability, he was ignored, even by his own mother, and eventually his brother gained the birthright that should have been his.  He survived, tolerated his childhood however  his life wasn't the happiest until he had grown into a young man.  He was in need of a new suit of clothes, so went into the village  tailor's shoppe and noticed the tailors daughter working behind the partially drawn curtain..  This moment was what turned around his  miserable and unhappy life. She was who set him on a course that lead  up to the events in my book.  This was his beginning  of a new life of learning the true source of happiness, which he wasn't privileged even comprehend, living in his family home.

There's a lot more to this story, and I have the whole story, even the title... I just need to find someone who is interested to make it into a movie or mini series.

My life has been molded by giving parents.  Parents who didn't have much but what they had they gave.  My mother gave her children music, talent, and taught each of  us, important life skills.  My father worked hard to provide for our family, and we never knew how humble we were because we were rich in the things that mattered the most.  Every year for Thanksgiving, my father would take the money he had saved up and buy 10 Turkeys to give away to widows, and families who needed them.  We didn't know that we needed them because there was always a 24+ lb turkey dressed and baked, sitting on our Thanksgiving Table along with all the fixings.  The same for Christmas, we weren't without.  We were happy and I know that my mother and Father were happy too, for all they were able to give to those who were in more need than we were.

My father died in 2001, and my mother died just this past year of 2018, just after Thanksgiving. Little did we know that their frugal living provided an unexpected inheritance that they were able to pass on to their children. It wasn't insignificant for them, but beyond that, the best inheritance they passed on was the gift of happiness, and knowing from how happiness is gained.  It's not from the getting but from the giving.  I could go on and on, but will close with, "If you want to be happy, give something away."

Thursday, September 26, 2019

If you want to be happy, then learn how to forgive



A friend of mine gave me some what she called "unsolicited advice."  I wish I could remember the circumstance for this advice, but it was something I have never forgotten.  She said, "God made our shoulders round, so things could roll off, and not have to stack up."  This has gotten me through a lot of challenges that life has offered to me.  The more we let problems, hurts, and more stack up, the more we are weighted down.  It is so much better for us to learn how to forgive and forget, because it is the only way to live and be happy.

So my friends, if you want to be happy, then learn how to forgive.  Enjoy! 
Katie G

If you want to be happy, SMILE... even if you have wonky teeth!






A few years ago, I made up a cute poster and post titled, "If you want to be happy, then Smile."  I thought about this just today and revisited that poster, and I wanted to add a little dialogue to it.

There are a lot of reasons why people don't smile. My own husband, as he aged, didn't want his teeth to show, because they had begun cracking and chipping, and he didn't like to show them.  When he'd smile, it would look like a half hearted effort to smile, with a closed mouth. I missed his smile, and I realized he was hiding his teeth.  I could commiserate with him because all while I was growing up, especially during Junior High and High School, I would do my best to smile and hide my very crooked teeth.

I had a very wonky tooth, and it was right in the middle of my mouth.  My parents were of humble means and couldn't provide braces on my teeth for me, so I did all I could to not show them.  I remember in my older years in grade school, a friend and neighbor of mine, got braces on her teeth.  Then another got braces on her teeth, yet I needed them more than both of them put together, and never got them.  I remember at times pretending I had braces, by twisting a wire paper clip into the arch shape of braces, and putting it in my mouth, pretending I had braces.  This is how badly I wanted and needed them.

When I got into Junior High, I was pretty shy, but eventually I got over that shyness, and nobody seemed to be focused on my crooked teeth but me.  Then High School came, and I tried out for Cheerleader and made it, and nobody said a word to me about my crooked and wonky tooth.  I still figured out a way to smile, without my teeth showing to the point that my crooked tooth wasn't noticeable.  I smiled that way in all my class photos, and all was well until my mother entered me into the Miss Teenage Utah Pageant. I just knew that I would be judged negatively for my crooked teeth, so I spent hours and hours practicing how to smile, looking head on, turning my head to the side and worked hard at disguising the fact that I had a very wonky tooth.  All went well the
days of the pageant, until about 10 minutes before I was to go into my judges interview.  I was ready, until one girl came up to me and asked me why I never got braces.  She said that she got them when she was younger, and it really helped and her teeth were much more wonky than mine.  She went on and on, totally destroying the confidence and good energy I had built up, about being in front of the judges, and ran into the bathroom to have a good cry.  It only took her few thoughtless words to destroy my confidence.   I knew I should have had braces and would have had so much more confidence in myself, if I felt my smile looked better.

I guess fate played a dirty trick on the girl who made me cry, because she didn't even place in the Miss Teenage Utah contest, but I did.  I won first runner up to Miss Teenage Utah, and First runner up in the Speech contest... "What's right with America".  You should have seen my dad's face when it was only myself and the queen, standing up in front of the spectators and supporters.  He said he didn't know how in the world he and Mom would make it to the Miss Teenager USA in Georgia, if I had won. I came home with a trophy almost as tall as myself and I have to say that this gave me a confidence boost. I did enter a couple other contests, and consistently won 1st runner up.

Two of the contests, I was given a copy of the Judging sheets, and I will never forget what I read from one of the Judges.  He said, "If she had straight teeth, she would have been queen." Another contest, the comments were..."Teeth need straightening, but only two more votes would have made her queen.  I knew it was true, but I had no control of getting my wonky teeth fixed.  My hopes were that one day, I would get my teeth fixed, and would live happily ever after.

Some years later, I met and married the man of my dreams, my Prince Charming, and my knight in shinning armor.  A few years later, he told me that I should make an appointment with the orthodontist for braces for my teeth.  You'd think I had won the lottery, and he knew how much it meant to me to get my teeth fixed, even though he loved me in spite of them.  I got braces, as a married woman, when I had several children.  I had to wear them for about 5 years, but I wore them proudly, as a badge of honor and was so happy when it was finally time to take them off.

One of the first things I realized was that I could smile a full smile, and not have to cover up my teeth.  I also realized that it was a big sacrifice for my husband to make so I could rebuild my own self esteem.  I also realized that beauty is only skin deep, and instead of focusing on what got me to win 3 contests, my inner beauty was what was being judged and not my teeth.

Now to wrap this up.... and back to the beginning of my story, my dear husband had much more issues with his worn out teeth.  He'd joke and say his teeth were horse teeth, and through he joked, I knew he was disguising how he really felt, because I had been there, and done that.  It was time, and he needed to smile a big smile and feel good about himself too.  We made an appointment  and to make a longer story shorter, he got 12 of this teeth crowned, and they look great.  He feels so much better about himself too, and I have noticed a definite change in him.  She smiles a whole lot more.

It wasn't just about teeth in both of these stories.  Both of us overlooked the imperfections in each other and loved each other, no matter how wonky or worn our teeth were.  This made our love grow even stronger, because we each put a smile on the others face, one that wasn't disguised, but a big toothy smile. 


Tuesday, July 24, 2018

If you want to be happy, learn and study your Ancestry.

Today is the day that Utah, USA celebrates the day the Pioneers entered the Salt Lake Valley and their leader, Brigham Young, said that this was the place that they should settle and live.  So they did, and since then, July 24th has been celebrated as Pioneer day. 

I have been pondering for several days prior to this celebration, my own Pioneer heritage.  I have many men and women ancestors who traveled by handcart and wagon, as well as walked, to get to Utah to settle.  I have been studying their lives and the stories that have been shared by them or others, about the difficulty that they experienced on their arduous journey.

One of my Ancestors was near 60 years of age, and on her own, she walked almost the entire distance to Utah, across the dusty plains.  One story of her was told that she was badly bitten by a rattlesnake on her lower leg.  She had the forethought to wrap a her leg tightly to prevent the snake venom from traveling to the other parts of her body.  When the leaders of the wagon train reached her, one was able to cut open her leg, and remove as much venom as possible, and she had to ride in a wagon thereafter while she healed.  Her 60 year old friend, who took the journey with her, and walked beside her, went to see her friend in the wagon, and somehow fell, and the heavy wagon rolled over her hips.  One Pioneer man was able to pull her from the back set of wheels, however not soon enough as the wagon wheel rolled over her ankle and crushed it.  Miraculously, no bones were broken, though she too had to ride in a wagon until she healed.  It wasn't long and both women were back walking the rest of the way on their journey to Utah. 

This is just one of the many stories I have in my family history, that amaze me on the fortitude and strength of my ancestors.  Can you imagine a snake bite, being run over twice by a heavy wagon, and of starvation and death, and so many more challenges these Pioneers faced and experienced, yet they still remained faithful and moved forward. Imagine even further, having to till the soil, and plant and water all the crops to sustain yourself throughout the winter, doing it all from scratch, including the harvesting, and all the preparation for cooking on a campfire, or living in a home made from what is available.  Then to consider keeping warm in the winter without insulation, furnace and keeping cool in the scorching summer heat without air conditioning... well all I can say is that I am so grateful to be living in this day and age that these comforts of life are available and for some, an afterthought.

Moving forward when difficulties and obsticles block our progress, seem to stack up and bring down our spirits, it would be easy to lose faith, or to fall into a deap depression.  For some who are troubled or hearts and spirits are aching, turn to drugs and alcohol.  I wonder in these times for the Pioneers, what did they turn to?

Thoughts of leaving a child, wrapped only in a blanket because the ground was too frozen to bury, or waking up one morning to see your beloved spouse had passed on, how in the world could you think of moving forward.... bit they did.  What was it that kept them going, and turning their sorrow to joy and moving forward through all their trials?  I believe it was their faith.  It was faith that they knew that they were sons and daughters of a loving Heavenly Father, and that they knew that their faith would get them through. 

When I personally have a trial, heartache or difficulty given to me, I like my Pioneer Ancestors, look toward God to heal me, to take away my pain and hurt and give me peace to move forward.  I like my Pioneer ancestors am given the strength to move forward, and to make the best and feel blessed for what I am given.  I like , count my blessings, and take courage and have so much gratitude for my ancestors, who suffered so much for me.  I take great pride in what they accomplished and have given me and to others who followed their family lines. 

If you want to be happy, study your Ancestry, and know your heritage.  Learn of the great difficulties your ancestors before you went thought, which should bring you gratitude and love and happiness for their gifts to the future.  We are the future and if you want to be happy, learn and remember, and pass on to your own posterity, the very same kind of character and devotion that they shared with you.

I want to share a few pictures of my own ancestors whom I honor this day. 

   




  





Thursday, June 1, 2017

If you want to be happy, you must forgive

This morning, I arose late, and as I walked into the kitchen, there was my husband having breakfast.  He greeted me, and told me he had made me breakfast too, and then said that he had a story to read to me.  I had a feeling I knew what kind of a story he wanted me to hear, because I had been going through a lot recently with family issues, and I had felt torn apart, and very sad by what was happening.  This story was perfect for me, and reminded me of things I already knew, but I needed to be reminded once again. I also knew that this story would help give peace to a family member of mine, who is suffering, broken and in great pain.  

I share this story with you too, because if you want to be happy in your own life, then you too must forgive.  Parts of this story was taken from a talk by James E. Faust and the whole talk can be found at this link: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/04/the-healing-power-of-forgiveness?lang=eng

Story of the Amish Tragedy

"In the beautiful hills of Pennsylvania, a devout group of people, live a simple life without automobiles, electricity, or modern machinery. They work hard and live quiet, peaceful lives separate from the world. Most of their food comes from their own farms. The women sew and knit and weave their clothing, which is modest and plain. They are known as the Amish people.


A 32-year-old milk truck driver lived with his family in their Nickel Mines community. He was not Amish, but his pickup route took him to many Amish dairy farms, where he became known as the quiet milkman. Last October he suddenly lost all reason and control. In his tormented mind he blamed God for the death of his first child and some unsubstantiated memories. He stormed into the Amish school without any provocation, released the boys and adults, and tied up 10 girls. He shot the girls, killing five and wounding five. Then he took his own life.


This shocking violence caused great anguish among the Amish but no anger. There was hurt but no hate. Their forgiveness was immediate. Collectively they began to reach out to the milkman’s suffering family. As the milkman’s family gathered in his home the day after the shootings, an Amish neighbor came over, wrapped his arms around the father of the dead gunman, and said, “We will forgive you.”  Amish leaders visited the milkman’s wife and children to extend their sympathy, their forgiveness, their help, and their love. About half of the mourners at the milkman’s funeral were Amish. In turn, the Amish invited the milkman’s family to attend the funeral services of the girls who had been killed. A remarkable peace settled on the Amish as their faith sustained them during this crisis.


One local resident very eloquently summed up the aftermath of this tragedy when he said, “We were all speaking the same language, and not just English, but a language of caring, a language of community, [and] a language of service, And, a language of forgiveness.”  It was an amazing outpouring of their belief in the Saviors teachings in the Sermon on the Mount: “Do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.”


 The family of the milkman who killed the five girls released the following statement to the public:


“To our Amish friends, neighbors, and local community:


“Our family wants each of you to know that we are overwhelmed by the forgiveness, grace, and mercy that you’ve extended to us. Your love for our family has helped to provide the healing we so desperately need. The prayers, flowers, cards, and gifts you’ve given have touched our hearts in a way no words can describe. Your compassion has reached beyond our family, beyond our community, and is changing our world, and for this we sincerely thank you.


“Please know that our hearts have been broken by all that has happened. We are filled with sorrow for all of our Amish neighbors whom we have loved and continue to love. We know that there are many hard days ahead for all the families who lost loved ones, and so we will continue to put our hope and trust in the God of all comfort, as we all seek to rebuild our lives.”


How could the whole Amish group show such an expression of forgiveness? Hearing of this tragedy, many people sent money to the Amish to pay for the health care of the five surviving girls and for the burial expenses of the five who were killed. As a further demonstration of their discipleship, the Amish decided to share some of the money with the widow of the milkman and her three children because they too were victims of this terrible tragedy.


Forgiveness is not always instantaneous as it was with the Amish. When innocent children have been molested or killed, most of us do not think first about forgiveness. Our natural response is anger. We may even feel justified in wanting to “get even” with anyone who inflicts injury on us or our family.


“Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.”    - Dr. Sidney Simon-


Most of us need time to work through pain and loss.  We can find all kinds of reasons to postpone forgiveness, waiting for the wrongdoer to repent before we forgive them, but delaying causes us to forgo the happiness and peace that could be ours, because we waited.


Some people hold grudges for a lifetime, not realizing that forgiving others who have wronged us is therapeutic and liberating.  Forgiveness enables people to look beyond themselves, and withstand the worst and ugliest of humanity.


If we can find forgiveness in our hearts for those who have caused us hurt or injury, we will rise to a higher level of self-esteem and well-being.  Studies show that people who forgive, are “less angry, more hopeful, less depressed, less anxious and less stressed, and understand that forgiveness is a liberating gift that people can give themselves.”


A woman who was going through a painful divorce received some really good advice.  It was to “Keep a place in your heart for forgiveness, and when it comes, welcome it.”


We all need to acknowledge our angry feelings, and realize it will take a great deal of humility to ask God to help us be able to forgive.  It takes even more humility to ask God to forgive ourselves of all those things we did to deserve what we are feeling, as a result of our own past bad behavior or bad choices. Since the Lord requires us to forgive everyone, He knows that this will rid our own lives of the hatred and bitterness that comes through harboring anger.  We cannot be responsible however, if others do not forgive, and sadly their lives will be consumed with anger, guile and bitterness, which certainly takes more effort to keep those feelings going, than to just forgive, move on, and find peace once again. Some people may never forgive, but those who do, will be able to find once again, the happiness that was missing from harboring all those negative feelings.


We all need to remember that if we want to be forgiven, we first must forgive, and let the healing power that comes through forgiveness, set our hearts free.


If you are reading this, I want you to know that as a mother, I have had to forgive like the Amish, my own family members whose choices have hurt me in the past.  Strong words, bad behavior and deeds, could have made my heart hardened and destroyed important relationships with my family.  An old friend once said something that has stayed with me for years.  She said, “God made our shoulders round, so things could roll off them.” The longer we let the boulders of hurt stack up, the more weighted down we become, until ultimately we are so bogged down, we cannot even walk.  As we let them go, and “roll off” one by one, that weight and burden becomes lighter and turns into a liberating force for us, and once again, we can feel peace.  This is the peace that comes from asking for forgiveness for our own mistakes in life we had made, as well as asking for the Lords help to enable us to forgive others. 


If you want to be happy, no let me rephrase that, 'If you want to be truly happy, then you must forgive.  First, Forgive others, and second, ask for forgiveness from God for your own issues.  If you will do this, then you can find peace in your soul, your hardened heart will soften, and you will truly be a happier person.