IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY, THEN FORGIVE!

A young woman sat down with me for lunch and we had a very long chat.  I didn’t know her as well as I should have, but after our chat, I knew everything that I needed to know.  She always smiled, laughed and I couldn’t figure out how she could be so happy in life when she had every reason to be miserable.  Her life was filled with one horrible experience after the other.  On all accounts, most people would think her life tragic.  I wanted to cry for her, and did as she told me the true stories that I don’t think I could have lived through myself.  When I asked her how she could be so happy and optimistic after living through one tragedy after the other, she told me that it simply wasn’t worth the hurt  and the energy to hold on to bad memories. 

 At a very young age, this young woman learned to forgive.  She told me that she doesn’t wait, stew, brood, and be miserable about the constant barrage and continuous flow of bad events that never seem find her at every turn, because she is determined to be happy in spite of them.  She believes that these events won’t ever cease, explaining about the little grey cloud that follows her wherever she goes.  She laughs and says she was born with it and like her shadow, will never stop following her.   She found that by forgiving others of their offenses, is the umbrella (metaphorically speaking) that prevents the rain from keeping her soggy wet. She knows it’s just a matter of time before she’ll get dumped on again, but understands that nobody is immune and it is just a matter of how we determine we will meet the challenges of life.  Forgiving others is what keeps her happy.

After this conversation, I took a very long look at myself and realized that I had been holding on to things way too long.  I realized that holding on to the bad memories and experiences in my own life, and never letting go was like a second nature to me, you know, kind of like a mole on your neck that you didn’t ever dare to have removed.  That evening, I took a long look into my 3 x zoom mirror and noticed how that mole had grown over the years.  It used to be so small that I just ignored it, but over the years it had grown into what looked more like a melanoma, a humongous protuberance that had to be removed.  I knew I needed to set an appointment with the Dermatologist to take care of it once and for all.

What a refreshing feeling it is to get rid of old baggage, and to be able to smile without regrets; and I had to learn it from someone half my age.  I wonder for you who are reading this story,  just how long you have held on to your excess baggage and how much longer will it take for you to be able to forgive, move on and be happy?  Lighten your load, forgive others, and be happy once more.

 

Please enjoy this little clipable printable to clip and post wherever you need to see it to remind yourself of your new attitude of forgiveness.

12 REASONS TO SMILE

WHEN YOU'RE SMILING... THE WHOLE WORLD SMILES WITH YOU!

TO BE HAPPY, YOU NEED TO LIKE YOURSELF!

How many times have you thought about things that you like and don't like about yourself?  Just how critical are you about the way you look, your hair, the shape of your body, your personality or so many other things?  When we constantly criticize and scrutinize ourselves, how can we ever really like who we are or expect others to feel the same?  I love, love, love the story about Thomas Moore, who was a famous 19th century Irish poet.  I want to share this wonderful story with you.  The story goes like this:

Thomas was called away on a business trip.  Upon his return he was met at the door not by his beautiful bride, but by the family doctor.

"Your wife is upstairs," said that doctor.  "But she has asked that you do not come up."
And then Moor learned the terrible truth:  his wife had contracted smallpox.  The disease had left her once flawless, lovely skin, pocked and terribly scarred.  She had taken one look at her disfigured reflection in the mirror and commanded that the shutters be drawn and that her husband never see her again.  Moore would not listen.  He ran upstairs and threw open the door of his wife's room.  It was black as night inside.  Not a sound came from the darkness.  Groping along the wall, Moore felt for the gas jet to turn on the lamps. 

A startled cry came from a black corner of the room.  "No! don't light the lamps!"

Moore hesitated, swayed by the pleading voice of his wife.  "Go!" she begged.  "Please go! This is the greatest gift I can give you now."

Moore did not go.  He went down to his study, where he sat up most of the night, prayerfully writing.  Not a poem this time, but a song.  He had never written a song before, but now he found it more natural to his mood than poetry.  He not only wrote the words, he wrote the music too.  And the next morning, as soon as the sun was up, he returned to his grieving wife's room.

The room had the shutters drawn and it was dark as night.  He felt his way to a chair and sat down.

"Are you awake?" he asked.

"I am," came a voice from the far side of the room.  "But you must not ask to see me.  You must not press me , Thomas."

I will sing to you, then," he answered.  And so for the first time, Thomas Moore sang to his wife the song that still lives today. Press the play button and enjoy the words so beautifully sung on the video as you read them below the video box:

 

"Believe me, if all those endearing young charms,

Which I gaze on so fondly today,

Were to change by tomorrow and flee in my arms,

Like fairy gifts fading away,

Though wouldst still be adored, as this moment though art--

Let thy loveliness fade as it will,

And around the dear ruin each wish of my heart

Would entwine itself verdantly still."

 

The song ended.  As his voice trailed off on the last note, Moore heard his bride rise.  She crossed the room to the window, reached up and slowly drew open the shutters.

Learning to love ourselves, even with our all of our faults and flaws, is essential to our own happiness.  We tend to express our displeasure about ourselves on others, like Thomas Moore's wife, believing that her husband could only love the lovely bride she once was, and could never love the pock marked and scarred woman she had become.  True love looks past that.

 

 

There is loveliness and goodness in all of us, that is lovable in spite of the flaws we all possess.  We need to get past those, and go on living our lives, which in turn causes others to see past our flaws and pock marks to the true beauty we hold inside.  I hope that this story will help those of you who do not love yourself, or even like yourself to look at yourself in a different way.  You are the only one who can truly control what you think of yourself.  Look past your differences and love yourself and be happy!



HAPPINESS IS A STATE OF MIND, WHAT FRIENDS CAN DO, and we can learn a lot from WINNIE THE POOH

Happiness is a state of mind and nobody could better teach us this than Eeyore, the cute little donkey with the tail that keeps falling off, from Winnie the Pooh.  HE can teach us a lot about the ups and downs in our lives.   Don't you just love the messages taught in these wonderful stories.  Read between the lines and you will learn a lot.  Speaking about Winnie the Pooh you can read between the lines in this little video below, because in our own life, there are never enough honey pots to satisfy our wants and needs.   People are never satisfied and always seem to want more.   From this, we must learn to be grateful for what we have, and enjoy like Winnie the Pooh, very smithereen, until our pots are emptied and we need to find some more honey to fill them.  Watch this video to the very end and you will see what I mean.

Youtube Video:  "It's not much of a tail but I'm attached to it." 

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a woman, who is so lovely and sweet but she made an interesting comment about herself.  She said, " I have the ugliest butt, always have had it and always will. I will never be happy with it, but it is what I have been given and I won't get another, so I guess that my ugly butt is something I have to deal with.  I'll just have to get use to it and be grateful that I have other qualities I like better."

 

YOUTUBE VIDEO:
"Eeyore's Secrets of Happiness - The Tao of Pooh" 
(Click on this title link above to take you to the next video.)

Sometimes we can’t find our happy place alone, and that's where friends  come in, who can help us to lift ourselves from their own experiences. Sometimes we are  sad, and need someone to help cheer us up!   Each friend is unique and has different suggestions and advice to offer us, like the friends of Eeyore.  The following are the things, each friend of Eeyore felt like would help him to be happy. Here is the setting:  Eeyore was sitting up on top of a mountain with rain clouds hovering overhead, and looking pretty sad.

Piglet:  “If I were a very sad animal, I’d want somebody to cheer me up!"
Tigger:  “Roo and me will teach him how to bounce.” 

Roo: “Don’t worry Eeyore, bouncing will make you happy!” 
Tigger:  “Yeah, and you’ll be twice as happy, because you have twice as many legs to bounce with. 

(Tigger and Roo’s best attempts to teach Eeyore how to add bounce to his step, doesn’t work, because what is good for them, isn’t always good for others.  Sometimes friends best intentions to help us, will not always work out,  because everyone is different, but how lovely is it to know that at last friends care enough to try to help.  That message alone should make us happier.)

Rabitt:  "Gardening is the only true happiness!  Happiness is seeing the benefits of good hard work. Watching the things you’ve planted with your own hands, springing up-- fresh and green.  And then, harvesting them.”   (What we can learn from Rabbit is that developing talents, hobbies, and passions, and using them in constructive ways, can give us great joy, especially when we get to reap the harvest, seeing and enjoying what our little hands have created. Sometimes just being out in the little garden that we've created for ourselves, nurturing the seedlings and watching the plants grow, makes us happy.)

Owl:  "Flying.. soring the light fantastic, sailing high over the hill."  (Owl ties balloons to Eeyore so he can share with him how much fun it is to fly.)

Owl:  "This is more fun than sitting on your old mountain top."  (Owl gets Eeyore up in the sky and then proceeds to pop the balloons.) 
Eeyore:  Why'd you do that? 
Owl:  Because it's time for your solo.  How I remembered my first flight, soring on high, the wind in my feathers... the whole world opening up before me.
(Friends can jump in and do their best to help us to be happy and try to lift our spirits, but we should not become dependent on others to create happiness for us.  It's like learning how to fly, once we are finally lifted up, we need to be able to do it on our own, and as owl says, "Take our own first flight, and letting the whole world open up before him.")

Pooh:  The way to stay the happiest, is to let your tongue lickle, and keep your tummy tickled. (There is one thing that Friends can do for us that really does make a difference and it is something that anyone can do.  Friends can lift spirits by taking us out to lunch, or when we are really down, friends bring in meals.  Sometimes just not having to prepare a meal for ourselves really gives us a lift.  Friends can do that for us.   Pooh fed his friend, and didn't stop until his tummy was full or in his words, "keep your tummy tickled."  )

Eeyore:  Go ahead, I'm ready ... cheer me up.
Piglet:  Oh Eeyore, I'd love to, I'm supposed to, but I guess I'm really here to apologize.  you are always sitting up here so sad, and everyone did such a good job of cheering you up, and I had no way to make you happy.
Eeyore:  "So that's what this is all about.  I'm grateful to you all, even if you almost killed me.  But I don't come up here because I'm sad, I come up here because I'm happy.  Let me show you something, because you are a good friend.  Now watch that cloud. (Piglet watches the clouds look so pretty, when the sunshine comes shining through a break in the dark clouds.) Eeyore turns things around and invites his friends to join him to see why he likes being up on the mountain.
Piglet:  "Thank you for sharing this Eeyore, it's made everyone so happy."
Eeyore: " Just returning the favor."

When our friends rally around us at our most difficult times in life, like Eeyore who was grateful for his friends attempts in trying to cheer him up, he too was able to return the favor and make them happy too, by sharing something with them that is special to him.  Piglet simply could not think of a way to cheer him up and did nothing, later feeling the need to apologize for it.  There is no need to apologize for lack of knowing what to do, or how to act when a friend is in need.  Spending time with that friend might be the very best medicine, you know... lending a listening ear, and being there when a friend is in need.  

I hope you saw all the applications that I found in this darling video and use them to be the friend of an Eeyore in your life.

 

Do something about the negatives in your life!

Do you know someone who is constantly negative?  Do you know someone who can't let the bad things that have happened to them go, and keep bringing them up?  How can anyone be happy if they continually focus on the negative and never let the true picture of their life develop?  Here is a cute little poster, that I made for you to put up for yourself, or pass out to somebody who needs it. 

A good friend of mine once told me a quote that I will never forget the jest of.  It went something like this.. "God made our shoulders round, so we could let things roll off.  If they were square, things would just stack up and weigh us down."

Now, go out and have a Happy day! 

CELEBRATE KINDNESS BY PAYING IT FORWARD, WITH RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS

I would like to direct you to an article found in the Deseret News today, by a blog follower, Rebecca Adams, of Illinois.  This article about a young girl who lost her family in a tragic automobile accident.  She was only 8 years old at the time, and suffered tremendous loss.  The story tells how she and her family were on their way to Idaho to a family reunion, when their pickup truck blew a tire, jumped the median and collided head on with a semi trailer.  Both her parents and sister were killed, but she was injured. A couple who saw the accident rushed to their aid and protected and comforted her until help arrived.   Joie's Aunt and uncle took her in to raise her.   After the accident lots and lots of people, even some they didn't know,  came to their aid with food and meals and comfort. 

Today, Joie is 14 and she had the idea last year about starting a Facebook page called Random Acts of Kindness:  Celebrating kindness, and encouraging strangers to participate.  On that Facebook page, it reads, "When tragedy hit, so did the acts of kindness, many fro strangers.  Each year, we give back, to remember."  1,500 people accepted the invitation, and did random acts of kindness.  Josie said that it makes her smile because they are doing these random acts in honor of her family, and that makes her HAPPY.  I hope that you will join in this years tribute and pay it forward, and be happy too!

I could go on but I want to give you the link to the Deseret news article, so you can go back and read the whole story.  http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865584824/Teen-honors-her-family-killed-in-crash-with-random-acts-of-kindness.html

With all this young lady suffered, she certainly has a right to be angry, sad, depressed, and still in grief, but instead, she says that she doesn't like living in the past and would rather be HAPPY and live life to the fullest.  Let me ask you.... could you do the same?  Have you done the same or are you still living in the past because of a hurt, tragedy or deep sadness that has happened to you I the past?  If you are still hurting, try what Joie did, and pay it forward.  Move on and don't let past events ruing your happiness for the rest of your life.  Go out and instead of looking inward, look outward and find someone that you can give service to, even if it is just starting with a smile.  I hope that you will join in this years tribute and pay it forward, and be HAPPY too!