If you want to be happy, SMILE... even if you have wonky teeth!

A few years ago, I made up a cute poster and post titled, "If you want to be happy, then Smile."  I thought about this just today and revisited that poster, and I wanted to add a little dialogue to it.

There are a lot of reasons why people don't smile. My own husband, as he aged, didn't want his teeth to show, because they had begun cracking and chipping, and he didn't like to show them.  When he'd smile, it would look like a half hearted effort to smile, with a closed mouth. I missed his smile, and I realized he was hiding his teeth.  I could commiserate with him because all while I was growing up, especially during Junior High and High School, I would do my best to smile and hide my very crooked teeth.

I had a very wonky tooth, and it was right in the middle of my mouth.  My parents were of humble means and couldn't provide braces on my teeth for me, so I did all I could to not show them.  I remember in my older years in grade school, a friend and neighbor of mine, got braces on her teeth.  Then another got braces on her teeth, yet I needed them more than both of them put together, and never got them.  I remember at times pretending I had braces, by twisting a wire paper clip into the arch shape of braces, and putting it in my mouth, pretending I had braces.  This is how badly I wanted and needed them.

When I got into Junior High, I was pretty shy, but eventually I got over that shyness, and nobody seemed to be focused on my crooked teeth but me.  Then High School came, and I tried out for Cheerleader and made it, and nobody said a word to me about my crooked and wonky tooth.  I still figured out a way to smile, without my teeth showing to the point that my crooked tooth wasn't noticeable.  I smiled that way in all my class photos, and all was well until my mother entered me into the Miss Teenage Utah Pageant. I just knew that I would be judged negatively for my crooked teeth, so I spent hours and hours practicing how to smile, looking head on, turning my head to the side and worked hard at disguising the fact that I had a very wonky tooth.  All went well the
days of the pageant, until about 10 minutes before I was to go into my judges interview.  I was ready, until one girl came up to me and asked me why I never got braces.  She said that she got them when she was younger, and it really helped and her teeth were much more wonky than mine.  She went on and on, totally destroying the confidence and good energy I had built up, about being in front of the judges, and ran into the bathroom to have a good cry.  It only took her few thoughtless words to destroy my confidence.   I knew I should have had braces and would have had so much more confidence in myself, if I felt my smile looked better.

I guess fate played a dirty trick on the girl who made me cry, because she didn't even place in the Miss Teenage Utah contest, but I did.  I won first runner up to Miss Teenage Utah, and First runner up in the Speech contest... "What's right with America".  You should have seen my dad's face when it was only myself and the queen, standing up in front of the spectators and supporters.  He said he didn't know how in the world he and Mom would make it to the Miss Teenager USA in Georgia, if I had won. I came home with a trophy almost as tall as myself and I have to say that this gave me a confidence boost. I did enter a couple other contests, and consistently won 1st runner up.

Two of the contests, I was given a copy of the Judging sheets, and I will never forget what I read from one of the Judges.  He said, "If she had straight teeth, she would have been queen." Another contest, the comments were..."Teeth need straightening, but only two more votes would have made her queen.  I knew it was true, but I had no control of getting my wonky teeth fixed.  My hopes were that one day, I would get my teeth fixed, and would live happily ever after.

Some years later, I met and married the man of my dreams, my Prince Charming, and my knight in shinning armor.  A few years later, he told me that I should make an appointment with the orthodontist for braces for my teeth.  You'd think I had won the lottery, and he knew how much it meant to me to get my teeth fixed, even though he loved me in spite of them.  I got braces, as a married woman, when I had several children.  I had to wear them for about 5 years, but I wore them proudly, as a badge of honor and was so happy when it was finally time to take them off.

One of the first things I realized was that I could smile a full smile, and not have to cover up my teeth.  I also realized that it was a big sacrifice for my husband to make so I could rebuild my own self esteem.  I also realized that beauty is only skin deep, and instead of focusing on what got me to win 3 contests, my inner beauty was what was being judged and not my teeth.

Now to wrap this up.... and back to the beginning of my story, my dear husband had much more issues with his worn out teeth.  He'd joke and say his teeth were horse teeth, and through he joked, I knew he was disguising how he really felt, because I had been there, and done that.  It was time, and he needed to smile a big smile and feel good about himself too.  We made an appointment  and to make a longer story shorter, he got 12 of this teeth crowned, and they look great.  He feels so much better about himself too, and I have noticed a definite change in him.  She smiles a whole lot more.

It wasn't just about teeth in both of these stories.  Both of us overlooked the imperfections in each other and loved each other, no matter how wonky or worn our teeth were.  This made our love grow even stronger, because we each put a smile on the others face, one that wasn't disguised, but a big toothy smile. 

If you want 2 be happy, know where you stand!

click on image to enlarge

If you draw a circle around yourself, where do you stand?   There are always opposite personalities, and others who do not think the way you do.  There are givers and takers, and I would like to pose the question…”Where do you stand?”   Are you a giver or a taker?

I have drawn up an image to illustrate this for you.  I drew two circles, and put two people inside the circle.  These people represent you and someone else close to you.  Then, I have placed a word balloon coming out of each circle that says two different things.

1.    Humm… what can they do for us?    
2.  What can we do for others?

Some people will, like the famous quote(1) draw a circle around themselves and not let anyone else inside their circle.  All of their focus is directed to what is inside that circle, and unfortunately they are only thinking about themselves,  but become so self-absorbed and selfish, all they can think about is #1, which represents what others can do for them, to make them happy, or successful.  Unfortunately for them, they miss out on the more important things in life that makes people truly happy.  They think so much about what they can get from others, never considering that they could contribute, pay back or pay it forward, because they are the single most important people in their world.  Nobody else matters, except for those who they can get something from, to improve their lives.

On the other hand, there are other people, who are the polar opposite of the ones we just described.  These are the Givers,# 2 circle, the unselfish, who don’t ask what others can do for them, but ask, “What can they do for others.”  These are the people who look outside their circle, and will draw others in to join them, expanding their circle to including others, make true friendships, and look outwards instead of inward.  They are not selfish, but generous with all they have, helping the poor and needy, others who are burdened with trials, and grief.  They are the lifters, the givers, the unselfish and are indeed true friends.  As time goes by, their circle expands to fit all who would want to join them, and these people are the happy ones. 

Quite a difference between these two circles talked about.  My suggestion is to look at your own circle, and determine which of these two examples best illustrates or fits you.  Then ask yourself… “Am I happy?”  If your answer is No, then you and only you have the ability to change your world, your destiny and your life’s outlook.  The key here is to not make your whole focus on yourself and your own self-interests, but to enlarge your circle to draw others in, reaching out with service, friendship and charity.  When you do this, you will feel so different, and understand that people need people, and the only way to be happy is to go outside of yourself, and genuinely let others in, and with no strings attached.  It isn’t what others can do for you that will make your life happy, but what you can do for others that will bring you true joy and happiness.

So, to sum it up… If you want to be happy, know where you stand, and enjoy a richer and happier life!  If you would like to see another great way to be happy, please go to this link:  https://www.mormon.org/beliefs/how-to-be-happy

 1.      “He drew a circle that shut me out-Heretic , rebel, a thing to flout.But love and I had the wit to win:We drew a circle and took him In ! Edwin Markham

If you want 2 be happy, then Let it go

If you want to be happy, then let it go!  I am talking about things that have pulled you under, hurt like the dickens, and weighed you down.  Yes, I am talking about those things people have said  or done to hurt you.  LET IT GO!  I'm also talking about offences they have done to your children, pain they have inflicted because they are just mean... I say, "Let it go!"  I am talking about the things that keep you up at night, the things that keep you addicted to numb the pain, and all other things you can think of.  Just let it go!

Yesterday, I spent my birthday crying over something someone had said, who severely misjudged me.  I was innocent of all the allegations they were making against me, but they had determined otherwise, and set out to defame, spew guile, and to just plain hurt me.  I thought we were friends, which was another hurt that beset me, because obviously this person did not like me, one little bit.  I cried until my eyes were red and swollen.  I could barely breathe, I was so stuffed up from crying.  I was a sad mess, and to make it even worse, all this happened on my birthday.

That afternoon, I logged on to Facebook and read from a friends page, that had posted the best possible quote, that helped lift my spirits, and help me to realize just how unimportant this hurtful situation was in my life.  This is what the quote said:

"So many of us make a great fuss over matters of small consequence.  We are so easily offended. Happy is the man who can brush aside the offending remarks of another, and go on his way."  This quote was written by Gordon B. Hinckley, in a talk he gave called, "Slow to Anger."  I read this talk and it helped me so much, that I wanted to include the link to help others.  Here is is: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/slow-to-anger?lang=eng

Isn't it amazing how something so small as a short quote can completely straighten out what you have been worrying over, and shedding far too many tears about?  I have to say that it took a lot of what someone else did to offend me, but I made the choice to let it trouble me as it did.  After reading this message the thought came into my mind, which is another famous quote, as of the past few years, and something that my little grand daugher sings all the time, and this is...."LET IT GO!"

I understand the atonement of Jesus Christ, and know that we don't have to suffer like we all do, because we can give away to Christ, our pains, and sorrows, afflictions, and torments.  He has already suffered them for us and we just have to Let it go and He will make up the rest.  It is true.  After I let it go, I cannot tell you how much peace I felt.  My burden was lifted and I was able to look around and see the things of life that truly matter, and make me happy.

I hope this short story will help you to understand that if you want to be happy, then let it go!

https://youtu.be/MD5bFCDfySc

P.S.  I found the greatest talk that helps all of us to understand the full extent of the Atonement Jesus Christ made for us.  It is a talk written by Elder Dallin H. Oaks, and it is called "Strengthened by the Atonement of Jesus Christ."  I encourage everyone, everywhere to read this, and be able to fully understand what His Atonement can do for you to be happy again.

If you want to be happy, then spend time with your family

It is a proven fact, if you really want to be happy, then take time, and spend it with your family.  It is a simple truth.  Building those relationships within the bonds of your family can make it or break family relationships and bonds. So I would like to suggest 10 things you can do to with your family, that builds unity, love and respect.

1.  Have dinner together, around the table.

2.  Have a chat!

3.  Have family council.

4.  Read together.

5.  Hug each other, every single day!

6.   Forgive each other daily, then forget about 

      what you forgave.

7.   Take time to listen, without interrupting.

8.   Laugh and cry together. 

9.   Be thankful and use your words of gratitude.

10.  Be kind. 

I could go on and share more of my thoughts, but the next step would be for you to think about why each of these ten things were listed.  What difference would they make in a family? What needs do they fulfill in each family member?  Then think about taking away each of these things, and how would it affect your family relationships?

If you want to be happy, then spend time with your family, building the relationships that will endure the test of time, trials, hurts, heartaches, pain and grief.  Build character in your children by teaching them values through your own example as parents.  Love, love, love your children, they simply grow up way too fast, and when their grown, they'll come back with their own little kiddies, to love you and do all those things you did for them.  One big happy family.... and it's never too late to start.

Hokey Pokey Addiction

If anyone knows me, they know that I love the Hokey Pokey, so when I found this fabulous quote, I knew I needed to add it to my happy blog.  If you don't already know, the Hokey Pokey was a song and dance that just made you happy doing it.  It goes like this...

"You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out,
You put your right foot in and you shake it all about...
You do the hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around,
Thats what it's all about!"

The song doesn't end there, and in fact it goes on with more verses shaking your body and turning yourself around, and jumping in and jumping out.  Oh I have great memories doing the Hokey Pokey at  some Family Christmas Parties when I was a little girl.  I don't remember very much about those parties, but I do remember doing the Hokey Pokey.  I also remember that my Grandmother use to ask, after the dance ended, "Does anyone want to do it again?"  All the grand kids would cheer and yell, "YES!"  I don't remember how many times we did this dance over and over, but I remember it snowing outside, but because we were shaking it inside, I was sweating.  I remember my Uncle Leo, really getting into this dance, and the smile on my own Grandpa's face, as he watched everyone buy him doing the dance.

If you want to be happy, during the holiday season, I would highly recommend you download a copy of the Hokey Pokey, and dance with your kids.  Everyone will love it and you will be doing one of the greatest things to make yourself and other happy, and that is spending fun time with family, and making a memory that will last for a lifetime.

So if you have not figured out yet the links to the Hokey Pokey, here is the link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_P9PU5FcMQ

If you want to be happy give something away

I would like to introduce you to my newest book, "If you want to be happy give something away." This book first came out in November of 2013, in time for me to do a few pre-sales for Christmas, however the actual launch will be sometime in July of 2014.  I will keep you updated as I receive information from my publisher.

I actually created this blog, to introduce some ideas that went with the message of this book and that is... If you want to be happy, then you need to do something about it.  In the case of the book, Old Gentleman Gray went out and did something about it, and began a ripple effect throughout his whole village of giving, thereby bringing back his own happiness and joy, which was something that he had lost for a whole year. 

This is a heart warming story, one that will remind families of the happiness that comes through giving, and not just at Christmastime, but the whole year through.



 

Don't let a little rain dampen your spirits!

How many times have you let things stand in the way of your happiness.  Sometimes they are as small , little hurts like cross words, or a harsh look. Does this remind you of you?  If you want to be happy, you must rid yourself of those raindrops sogging you down, in order see the beautiful rainbows.  So many people that we all know, have harbored and actually fed hurt feelings, preventing them from being happy.  They brood, and relish in their own hurt so long that it becomes what defines them, and little do they know how much they miss out on.   

A word from the wise....Everyone has raindrops that fall and dampen their spirits from time to time, and that is normal, but if you don't develop the ability to let them go, you will never be able to enjoy this beautiful life... or see all the lovely rainbows that appear right before your eyes.

Go ahead,  let  go and and be happy!  I dare you!

Do something about the negatives in your life!

Do you know someone who is constantly negative?  Do you know someone who can't let the bad things that have happened to them go, and keep bringing them up?  How can anyone be happy if they continually focus on the negative and never let the true picture of their life develop?  Here is a cute little poster, that I made for you to put up for yourself, or pass out to somebody who needs it. 

A good friend of mine once told me a quote that I will never forget the jest of.  It went something like this.. "God made our shoulders round, so we could let things roll off.  If they were square, things would just stack up and weigh us down."

Now, go out and have a Happy day! 

CELEBRATE KINDNESS BY PAYING IT FORWARD, WITH RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS

I would like to direct you to an article found in the Deseret News today, by a blog follower, Rebecca Adams, of Illinois.  This article about a young girl who lost her family in a tragic automobile accident.  She was only 8 years old at the time, and suffered tremendous loss.  The story tells how she and her family were on their way to Idaho to a family reunion, when their pickup truck blew a tire, jumped the median and collided head on with a semi trailer.  Both her parents and sister were killed, but she was injured. A couple who saw the accident rushed to their aid and protected and comforted her until help arrived.   Joie's Aunt and uncle took her in to raise her.   After the accident lots and lots of people, even some they didn't know,  came to their aid with food and meals and comfort. 

Today, Joie is 14 and she had the idea last year about starting a Facebook page called Random Acts of Kindness:  Celebrating kindness, and encouraging strangers to participate.  On that Facebook page, it reads, "When tragedy hit, so did the acts of kindness, many fro strangers.  Each year, we give back, to remember."  1,500 people accepted the invitation, and did random acts of kindness.  Josie said that it makes her smile because they are doing these random acts in honor of her family, and that makes her HAPPY.  I hope that you will join in this years tribute and pay it forward, and be happy too!

I could go on but I want to give you the link to the Deseret news article, so you can go back and read the whole story.  http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865584824/Teen-honors-her-family-killed-in-crash-with-random-acts-of-kindness.html

With all this young lady suffered, she certainly has a right to be angry, sad, depressed, and still in grief, but instead, she says that she doesn't like living in the past and would rather be HAPPY and live life to the fullest.  Let me ask you.... could you do the same?  Have you done the same or are you still living in the past because of a hurt, tragedy or deep sadness that has happened to you I the past?  If you are still hurting, try what Joie did, and pay it forward.  Move on and don't let past events ruing your happiness for the rest of your life.  Go out and instead of looking inward, look outward and find someone that you can give service to, even if it is just starting with a smile.  I hope that you will join in this years tribute and pay it forward, and be HAPPY too!

14 QUALITIES OF HAPPY PEOPLE



Here is a free printable for you or for you to share with others.  To print, click on the image, then save it to your computer and print from there. When you consider these qualities, look to yourself and see if you posses them.  The ones you fall short on, work on, and I guarantee, you will become a happier person.  BE HAPPY!

SUCH A SMALL PRICE TO PAY

I always go to the wrong checkout line at the grocery store.  Never fail, I pick the wrong line.  Inevitably I end up in the line with the cashier in training, who takes double the time to check people out with their groceries, because she’s learning.  I seem to be drawn to the line; behind someone who has a purse bulging with coupons, needing them scanned individually or who has been dumpster diving for coupons and they are burning a hole in their wallet.  Occasionally I get behind people who don’t have enough money to pay for their purchase, so they have to recalculate and put things away until they reach a point that their food items, match the money in their purse.  This was one of those days and I’d like to share this story with you.

I didn’t want to take much time in the grocery store because I needed to get home to prepare dinner.  I only had a few items that I needed to purchase and I felt pretty certain that I would get in and out of the grocery store within a 15 minute window.  I knew the layout of the store, grabbed my few grocery items, and proceeded to the shortest checkout line.  Ahead of me was a cute little old silvery haired woman that I had seen, rolling through the isles of the store in the electric scooter.  Her few items were in the scooter basket, and she was taking out each item, setting them on the check out counter.  The problem began after the scanning was complete and the store checker announced the total amount of her purchase.  I heard an audible gasp, as she began fumbling through her purse, looking for extra change that had dropped to the bottom.  She laid all the found coins on the counter for the checker, but after counting, she was still short.  The checker was friendly and cute and proceeded to try to ease the embarrassment or her customer, suggesting that maybe some of her items could be saved for another shopping day.  A bit frazzled, this little woman, started sifting through the sacks to see what she could put back.  Out loud, she accounted for every item saying, “I need this for dinner, can’t make my casserole without this soup, and I need everyone of these prescriptions.”  There was nothing she could could put back, and needed everything, yet she didn’t have enough money to pay for it.

In the meantime, behind both of us, were three other grocery shoppers, who were wrestling with their children, and seemed obviously annoyed that this little old woman was taking so much time.  I was uncomfortable too, but not for myself and my own time constraints, but because I could see that this little old woman needed everything in those shopping bags, and didn’t know what to do.  She even mentioned that her ride home was out sitting in the car, and perhaps the checker could wait for her to go out to the car to see if her ride had any money to contribute. It was then that someone behind me let out a loud and frustrated sigh, and if she had a horn in her hands, it would be honking.   

My heart began to pound fast,  and a lump in my throat grew as I felt compelled to take action.  I knew what I had to do and as quietly as I could, I asked the cashier how much more the old woman needed to complete her purchase.  She told me it was just a little over $6.00.  I knew that I was all out of change, but asked the cashier if she could put the balance of her purchase on my purchase and I would pay for it.  She smiled at me and said, “Sure”, looked at the little old woman, and took the amount of money that was lying on the counter and said, “Paid in full”. 

The old woman was startled, and said, “But I don’t have enough!”
The cashier said, “It’s been taken care of.” Before I could get the cashiers attention to tell her to not say anything, she continued, “ paid by the woman behind you .” 

Oh how I wished that she hadn’t revealed that tiny piece of information, thinking this woman could have somehow thought that the food items she bought were on a 1 minute special sale or that she was the 100,000 shopper and won that as her prize.  Maybe the cashier could have pretended that she had miscounted the change, and it ended up being exactly enough, but my little secret deed was revealed.

Then I saw the old woman try to turn her silvery gray head around to see me.  She seemed stiff and could only turn her neck half way, but as I looked at her profile, I saw tears welled up in her eyes and streaming down her face.  She uttered the words, “Thank-you!”  Speaking she suggested that d that if I would follow her out to her car, she could write down my name and address, and send me the money in the mail.

I laughed and said, “Today is your lucky day, and there is no need to worry about paying me back.”

She said, “Oh, but I can’t take your money!”

I told her that she wasn’t taking anything, because it was a gift for being such a lovely person.  I went on, “I hope that you have a wonderful day, because you have made mine very happy!”

She wiped her nose and face, and with a sniff, repeated in whispers, "Thank-you, thank you so very much... how can I ever repay you?”

By then, I had such a good feeling all over me, and tears were in my eyes that I told her “No, it is you I need to thank,  but if you feel you must repay me, then pass this gift on, to someone else you find in need!”  She shook her head up and down, understanding what I had said, as the bagger lifted her groceries sacks into her scooter basket,. and walked with her to assist putting the groceries into the car. 
 

My groceries only took a minute to scan and pay for, and I was out the sliding doors walking toward my car.  I noticed this darling little silvery haired woman getting into the car parked right next to me, telling the driver of the car about the experience she had in the store.  She was still crying and wiping tears as she spoke. 

My heart was warm, as I refreshed in my mind, the events that has just happened inside the store.  I felt so good in side.  I needed that experience that day because it lifted my spirits and I thought about how blessed I am to have my health, enough money to pay for all the necessities of life and so much more.  I am so glad that I acted upon the promptings I had received.  Such a small price to pay, and I received so much more than I gave. 

If you want to be happy, give something away!

A SIMPLE PLATE OF COOKIES

Some years my family moved from our hometown, friends and family, to a new home in a new state and town.  There is always a certain amount of fearfulness about fitting in, making friends, and being accepted, and these thoughts were in all of our heads.  Even our children were apprehensive about this move, and hated to leave behind their friends, to start over again in this new neighborhood.  I have learned from past experience that not everyone will come running to your front door to meet you, if you are a new move in, but I knew that we could either sit back and hope it will happen or we could be proactive to make it happen.  We took the proactive approach and created a plan to meet our neighbors.

People love cookies, and I know that unless you are severely diabetic, nobody will refuse the offer of a freshly baked cookie.  I gathered up my children, and together we added the ingredients to make our best recipe of chocolate chip cookies.  After they were baked and cooled, we divided them up on several paper plates, making sure that we left one for our own family.  Then we made a plan about who should be the lucky recipients of our cookies.  This would be our way of meeting them, and hopefully putting a smile on their face in the process.  We were excited and everyone eagerly participated.

We selected 4 different families in our neighborhood to deliver these cookies to.  The very first family we picked lived directly across the street from us.  When we had moved in, and before we had our phone, we needed to make a phone call, and asked if we could make a call from their home.  They were kind enough to let us in, and so we thought that we would return the favor. 

With my children's faces wiped off, and hair combed, we took our cookies and walked across the street to present one to this family.  We knocked on the door and the mother opened the door.  She had quite a surprised and perplexed look on her face.  Maybe me any all my children were a little bit overwhelming, so I quickly said, "We wanted to thank you for the use of your phone a couple days ago, so we baked you some cookies."  My kids were all smiling and excited about sharing but somehow she didn't seem as happy to receive them as we were to give. 

She then said, "Why are you giving me a plate of cookies?"

I said, "Because we wanted to say thank-you."

She then said, "Who does this?  Why the cookies?"

My kids began to squirm around and became a bit uncomfortable, as our best efforts seemed to be questioned like we had put poison in the cookies or maybe we were trying to sell them or something.

The woman's mouth was pretty much open, with jaw dropped and her kids had gathered around her at peering through the doorway at us.  I wanted to cut the uneasiness a bit, so I then said,
"We live across the street and wanted to meet you.  This is our way of meeting you."

Once again, the woman said, "But why the cookies?"

I brushed it off and began to name the names and ages of my children and then said that we hoped that we could become good friends one day.  My kids were only too anxious to leave their uncomfortable presence, until finally she said, "Well thank you!" (That thank-you seemed to have a question mark at the end of it.)

She went on to say, "Nobody has ever brought them a plate of cookies or anything, and that she was so surprised that she didn't know what to do or what to say."

I said, "that's ok," and my daughter continued... "Maybe you will get more use to it if we keep bringing you cookies again."  At that our neighbor smiled and seemed to warm up and her kids were pulling on the plate of cookies, to get a better look at them. 

We said a quick good-by and walked back across the street.  I gathered my kids around in our family room,  and the conversation when something like this....."Who doesn't like cookies?" "Wow that was uncomfortable." 

I asked the kids how they felt about giving the cookies away, and each of them said that it made them happy, even though they weren't received in the way that they had hoped.

Time went by and so did plates of cookies, casseroles, and many other goodies.  We became friends with this neighbor, and we all knew that happiness does come into our heart when we give something away, even as simple as cookies. 

Kathleen Gauger