A few years ago, I made up a cute poster and post titled, "If you want to be happy, then Smile." I thought about this just today and revisited that poster, and I wanted to add a little dialogue to it.
There are a lot of reasons why people don't smile. My own husband, as he aged, didn't want his teeth to show, because they had begun cracking and chipping, and he didn't like to show them. When he'd smile, it would look like a half hearted effort to smile, with a closed mouth. I missed his smile, and I realized he was hiding his teeth. I could commiserate with him because all while I was growing up, especially during Junior High and High School, I would do my best to smile and hide my very crooked teeth.
I had a very wonky tooth, and it was right in the middle of my mouth. My parents were of humble means and couldn't provide braces on my teeth for me, so I did all I could to not show them. I remember in my older years in grade school, a friend and neighbor of mine, got braces on her teeth. Then another got braces on her teeth, yet I needed them more than both of them put together, and never got them. I remember at times pretending I had braces, by twisting a wire paper clip into the arch shape of braces, and putting it in my mouth, pretending I had braces. This is how badly I wanted and needed them.
When I got into Junior High, I was pretty shy, but eventually I got over that shyness, and nobody seemed to be focused on my crooked teeth but me. Then High School came, and I tried out for Cheerleader and made it, and nobody said a word to me about my crooked and wonky tooth. I still figured out a way to smile, without my teeth showing to the point that my crooked tooth wasn't noticeable. I smiled that way in all my class photos, and all was well until my mother entered me into the Miss Teenage Utah Pageant. I just knew that I would be judged negatively for my crooked teeth, so I spent hours and hours practicing how to smile, looking head on, turning my head to the side and worked hard at disguising the fact that I had a very wonky tooth. All went well the
days of the pageant, until about 10 minutes before I was to go into my judges interview. I was ready, until one girl came up to me and asked me why I never got braces. She said that she got them when she was younger, and it really helped and her teeth were much more wonky than mine. She went on and on, totally destroying the confidence and good energy I had built up, about being in front of the judges, and ran into the bathroom to have a good cry. It only took her few thoughtless words to destroy my confidence. I knew I should have had braces and would have had so much more confidence in myself, if I felt my smile looked better.
I guess fate played a dirty trick on the girl who made me cry, because she didn't even place in the Miss Teenage Utah contest, but I did. I won first runner up to Miss Teenage Utah, and First runner up in the Speech contest... "What's right with America". You should have seen my dad's face when it was only myself and the queen, standing up in front of the spectators and supporters. He said he didn't know how in the world he and Mom would make it to the Miss Teenager USA in Georgia, if I had won. I came home with a trophy almost as tall as myself and I have to say that this gave me a confidence boost. I did enter a couple other contests, and consistently won 1st runner up.
Two of the contests, I was given a copy of the Judging sheets, and I will never forget what I read from one of the Judges. He said, "If she had straight teeth, she would have been queen." Another contest, the comments were..."Teeth need straightening, but only two more votes would have made her queen. I knew it was true, but I had no control of getting my wonky teeth fixed. My hopes were that one day, I would get my teeth fixed, and would live happily ever after.
Some years later, I met and married the man of my dreams, my Prince Charming, and my knight in shinning armor. A few years later, he told me that I should make an appointment with the orthodontist for braces for my teeth. You'd think I had won the lottery, and he knew how much it meant to me to get my teeth fixed, even though he loved me in spite of them. I got braces, as a married woman, when I had several children. I had to wear them for about 5 years, but I wore them proudly, as a badge of honor and was so happy when it was finally time to take them off.
One of the first things I realized was that I could smile a full smile, and not have to cover up my teeth. I also realized that it was a big sacrifice for my husband to make so I could rebuild my own self esteem. I also realized that beauty is only skin deep, and instead of focusing on what got me to win 3 contests, my inner beauty was what was being judged and not my teeth.
Now to wrap this up.... and back to the beginning of my story, my dear husband had much more issues with his worn out teeth. He'd joke and say his teeth were horse teeth, and through he joked, I knew he was disguising how he really felt, because I had been there, and done that. It was time, and he needed to smile a big smile and feel good about himself too. We made an appointment and to make a longer story shorter, he got 12 of this teeth crowned, and they look great. He feels so much better about himself too, and I have noticed a definite change in him. She smiles a whole lot more.
It wasn't just about teeth in both of these stories. Both of us overlooked the imperfections in each other and loved each other, no matter how wonky or worn our teeth were. This made our love grow even stronger, because we each put a smile on the others face, one that wasn't disguised, but a big toothy smile.
