Saturday, August 10, 2013

Make Someone Happy


This morning, I woke up singing this wonderful old song, "Make someone happy."  I found the video clip on You tube and wanted to share with you.  Listen to the words, as they make sense, that is if you want to be happy!
 

Make Someone Happy by Durante, Jimmy
Make someone happy,
Make just one someone happy;
Make just one heart the heart you sing to.
One smile that cheers you,
One face that lights when it nears you,
One girl you're ev'rything to.

Fame if you win it,
Comes and goes in a minute.
Where's the real stuff in life to cling to?
Love is the answer,
Someone to love is the answer.
Once you've found her, build your world around her.

Make someone happy,
Make just one someone happy,
And you will be happy, too.


Friday, August 9, 2013

A SIMPLE PLATE OF COOKIES

Some years my family moved from our hometown, friends and family, to a new home in a new state and town.  There is always a certain amount of fearfulness about fitting in, making friends, and being accepted, and these thoughts were in all of our heads.  Even our children were apprehensive about this move, and hated to leave behind their friends, to start over again in this new neighborhood.  I have learned from past experience that not everyone will come running to your front door to meet you, if you are a new move in, but I knew that we could either sit back and hope it will happen or we could be proactive to make it happen.  We took the proactive approach and created a plan to meet our neighbors.

People love cookies, and I know that unless you are severely diabetic, nobody will refuse the offer of a freshly baked cookie.  I gathered up my children, and together we added the ingredients to make our best recipe of chocolate chip cookies.  After they were baked and cooled, we divided them up on several paper plates, making sure that we left one for our own family.  Then we made a plan about who should be the lucky recipients of our cookies.  This would be our way of meeting them, and hopefully putting a smile on their face in the process.  We were excited and everyone eagerly participated.

We selected 4 different families in our neighborhood to deliver these cookies to.  The very first family we picked lived directly across the street from us.  When we had moved in, and before we had our phone, we needed to make a phone call, and asked if we could make a call from their home.  They were kind enough to let us in, and so we thought that we would return the favor. 

With my children's faces wiped off, and hair combed, we took our cookies and walked across the street to present one to this family.  We knocked on the door and the mother opened the door.  She had quite a surprised and perplexed look on her face.  Maybe me any all my children were a little bit overwhelming, so I quickly said, "We wanted to thank you for the use of your phone a couple days ago, so we baked you some cookies."  My kids were all smiling and excited about sharing but somehow she didn't seem as happy to receive them as we were to give. 

She then said, "Why are you giving me a plate of cookies?"

I said, "Because we wanted to say thank-you."

She then said, "Who does this?  Why the cookies?"

My kids began to squirm around and became a bit uncomfortable, as our best efforts seemed to be questioned like we had put poison in the cookies or maybe we were trying to sell them or something.

The woman's mouth was pretty much open, with jaw dropped and her kids had gathered around her at peering through the doorway at us.  I wanted to cut the uneasiness a bit, so I then said,
"We live across the street and wanted to meet you.  This is our way of meeting you."

Once again, the woman said, "But why the cookies?"

I brushed it off and began to name the names and ages of my children and then said that we hoped that we could become good friends one day.  My kids were only too anxious to leave their uncomfortable presence, until finally she said, "Well thank you!" (That thank-you seemed to have a question mark at the end of it.)

She went on to say, "Nobody has ever brought them a plate of cookies or anything, and that she was so surprised that she didn't know what to do or what to say."

I said, "that's ok," and my daughter continued... "Maybe you will get more use to it if we keep bringing you cookies again."  At that our neighbor smiled and seemed to warm up and her kids were pulling on the plate of cookies, to get a better look at them. 

We said a quick good-by and walked back across the street.  I gathered my kids around in our family room,  and the conversation when something like this....."Who doesn't like cookies?" "Wow that was uncomfortable." 

I asked the kids how they felt about giving the cookies away, and each of them said that it made them happy, even though they weren't received in the way that they had hoped.

Time went by and so did plates of cookies, casseroles, and many other goodies.  We became friends with this neighbor, and we all knew that happiness does come into our heart when we give something away, even as simple as cookies. 

Kathleen Gauger

HOW CAN YOU BE HAPPY?


Throughout my lifetime I have had opportunity to enjoy and share a quote that is probably my most favorite.  It contains the secret of what it takes to be happy.  Let me share with you...

 "There is a destiny that makes us brothers, none goes his way alone.  All that we send into the lives of others, comes back into our own."  Edwin Markham

I suppose I could stop here and leave it up to you to connect the dots and figure it out, but since this has been a livelong activity of mine, I will explain.  If we want to be happy, I mean truly happy, then we need to extend ourselves to others and by doing so, happiness and joy come back to us ten fold.  To further explain, I would like to share a true story:

Many years ago, in fact, about 20 years to be exact, my family lived in Nevada.  We moved there to further my husbands career.  While living there we made lots of friends, but one friend in particular at one point in her life, became withdrawn, somber and depressed.  Anyone who would look at her from the outside would think she had every reason to be happy.  She had a handsome husband and very beautiful and accomplished and talented children. She had a large and elegantly decorated home and was provided every comfort in life that anyone could imagine.  Her husband was a prominent physician and they lived what most people would think to be a charmed life.  They had just about everything and anything that life could offer and wanted for nothing except for one thing---she wasn't happy.  Eve (as I will call her) struggled for some time, and never felt happy.  She went to all kinds of doctors, who diagnosed and put her on medications that were meant to make her feel better.  She lost weight,  which you'd think would make anyone happy and boost their esteem, but even a slimmer body didn't cheer her up. Her husband and children were at a loss and felt horrible that she was so miserable.

One day, Eve knew that she could not continue to live this way, and determined that there had to be a way to feel better that she had not explored.   For the lack of something to do, she decided to go down to the convalescent center which was located close-by her home, and paid a few visits to some elderly women she knew there.  She entered the home, and found her way down the long hallway to  the room of the first woman who greeted her with joy.  How happy she was to get a visitor, and an unexpected one at that.  Together the women chatted, and many stories were heard of a past life, family and children.  Laughter was heard and warmth was felt between them.  This emotion was vaguely familiar to her, but it grew and grew as they chatted. The conversations ended, and Eve was on to the next room, and was greeted much in the same way as the first visit.  Time passed, memories shared, and joy once again filled Eve.  She was beginning to feel alive again, though at first she didn't understand it.  By the time she had visited the last woman in the convalescent home, Eve's countenance was transformed.  She felt warmth in her heart, joy in her soul and she smiled as she left to walk back down that long corridor to the parking lot.  She had become a different woman.  She was happy and actually felt it.

As Eve contemplated the conversations she had with each woman, and reviewed the feelings expressed and shared, she understood that if she wanted to be happy, she needed to give something away and the more she gave the more that came back into her own.  Eve gave away her time, compassion and listening ear, and the natural consequence of doing something good like that, was happiness.  Her spirits were lifted as she lifted the spirits of others. 

Eve's darkness  had been replaced by happiness, for the first time in a very long time.  She determined that she would continue her visits there, and did.   Each visit she would do something a little different for these women, who were so happy to see her.  She brought a new brush and brushed and styled the hair of one woman.  She painted her fingernails of another.  For the next, she brought a favorite treat to share, that had been mentioned in a previous visit. 

Eve's whole countenance changed, as she reached out to serve others.  She never dreamed that by doing something so simple, could have such dramatic effects on herself.  As her family witnessed the change in their mother and wife, they too joined in and also became involved with visiting more and more people at the convalescent center.  They all understood the joy that a simple visit would bring. 

Friends of Eve's saw the change and asked her what had made the difference in her, because she was joyful and seemed to glow.  When she told them, they too joined in, and this service at the convalescent center became a ripple effect throughout the neighborhood and community. 

When we reach out and serve others, it does come back to us.  Happiness is something that comes when we forget about ourselves and reach out to others.

I hope that all of you who read this post will go out and find your own happiness just like Eve, and if you do, please write back to me and share your experience.

Best regards, Kathleen Gauger